


Written Words

by HerNightmareTurnedFantasy



Category: Original Work
Genre: One Sided Attraction, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-01
Updated: 2017-10-15
Packaged: 2018-11-21 20:09:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11364723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HerNightmareTurnedFantasy/pseuds/HerNightmareTurnedFantasy
Summary: Short stories written by me at ass o'clock when inspired





	1. 1:37 am

Lying on a pink bed staring at the ceiling as David Bowie's 'Lazarus' plays in the background.

She is accompanied by Stephen Chbosky's 'The Perks of Being A Wallflower. It is 1:37 am.

She hears nothing but the lyrics coming from her phone as she dazes away.

It's moments like this that make her happiest. The world is quite at this time, and it gives her the freedom to think.

It gives her the freedom to dream.


	2. 9:38 pm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> His smile is really cute. It makes his whole face light up

We talk more casually now, which is good.

It's odd to think that someone so reserved could catch me in this way. I never thought I'd gain feelings for someone like him but life is full of surprises.

I like him.

I really, really like him.

But I know he'll never like me.

I guess it's fun to dream then. The clouded paradise in my mind is far more welcoming anyways.


	3. 23:54

Just the thought of you brings on a headache.

I'm fucking pissed but no amount of anger in the world could bring me to use the word hate towards you.

Cause you don't deserve hate, do you?

You deserve laughter and smiles and happiness. Everything I can never give to you.

So I leave you in the dark as I decided what to do.

I don't hate you, I'm just confused. It will take awhile, but

time will bring me back to you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Catch the bring me the horizon reference.


	4. 03:24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Purple Rain - Prince and When I grow up by First Aid Kit

It's time like this when I wish I had a special someone.

Someone that I could listen to music with, in the middle of nowhere, and just talk about anything,

everything.  

They would be kind in a way that warms me unlike any other.

My heart continues to skip a beat anytime they direct their attention towards me.

I'm in love with someone I have never met and possibly will never meet.

They are only here during my most vulnerable moments.

At 3:24 am, while I listen to soothing music on my plush pink bed, and fantasize about the night sky. 


	5. 00:25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is to who we’ll call Turner, who should learn to think before he acts.

Honestly.

You have got to be fucking kidding me.

I went through almost losing a nine year friendship and trying to convince myself that it wasn't your fault; to learning that you didn't even have the courage to think before you did what you did.

I was fucked up for so long after that, and now I'm learning that you thought it was the right thing?

You couldn't even talk to me!

You just left me in the dark and came back to make everything far more complicated than it needed to be. I cared so much that I was willing to forget everything just to get back to where we were. And now I'm realizing all that stress might not have been worth it.

And I still care.

 I care enough to hope you never read this and that you'll never know this is me writing this to you.

Maybe it would've been better to forget instead of forgive.


	6. 11:11 pm

In my life I have two faces.

One is a mask; she wears a bright smile that rarely every turns and is courteous and kind to most everyone she meets. In times of distress she is either loud as a hawk or silent as a mouse,it depends on the circumstance.

The other face is behind the mask.

She is made of skin and wrinkles, a human face. This one's mouth is a straight line. No emotion comes from her besides sorrow. She is 100%, truly unhappy.

So why does the second face wear the mask?

Why can't she just take it off and show those around her what she is truly feeling?

It's because showing how she really feels comes with a dangerous price,

the price of happiness.

So she will continue to wear the mask until the second face has found true happiness. Until then, you can refer to me as the girl with many looks,

at least until I find which one looks best on me.


	7. 6:03 pm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Erase this from the blackboard

I guess I’m selfish.

  
No really, I completely understand what you’re going through even though you are so superior to me that you felt the need to break it down as if I’m an idiot.

You,

the queen of the kingdom,

is stressed because you bit off more than you can chew. And I’m selfish for not wasting every second of the miserable life I live in this desolate household on pampering you.

As if you aren’t a grown woman who could make these decisions on your own.

I’m not a fan of wishing death upon those who don’t deserve it, especially on minor incidents that fuel my easily flammable temper.

But every time I force myself to interact with your blank slate of a face,

I get the urge to cut away at myself until there is nothing left.

Wishing for something horrible to happen to me so that I don’t have to deal with you anymore.

I’ll pretend to be happy for as long as I can, until I can finally escape the box of perfection you think you can stuff me into and live my life freely as me.


	8. 7:23 pm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was written a bit earlier than usual.

When you tell me I’m not fat it hurts.

It hurts because you’re adding on to this negative image that fat people face. Treating the word like taboo as if it’s something to be ashamed of when in most causes it’s really not.

I’m physically healthy, I exercise, and I enjoy healthy meals but I am still a fat person and I love being this way. Me not being afraid to be me shouldn’t make you feel bad for me or uncomfortable of the topic. Embrace it and others who do so and turn something that is mostly seen as a negative into a positive.

It hurts me when you say I’m not fat because I am,

and I love it.


End file.
